On Speaking Terms
"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." — Oscar Wilde My youngest doesn't always do what would make me feel better. For most of my life, that sentence would have started a small war. Quiet, internal, invisible to everyone else — but a war. I'd want her to choose differently, to do the thing that would settle something in me, and when she didn't, I'd feel it as a problem. A problem that was hers to fix. These days I catch it. The old pull rises up — why won't
Heather McAdam
3 days ago
Quiet Weeks
I haven't written in a couple of weeks—not because I ran out of things to say, but because somewhere in the quiet, a much older thought crept back in: that my voice didn't matter. Early on as a dancer, I was taught that taking up less space was the price of being allowed in the room. But real patience looks like choosing the small things, sitting with the old feelings, and coming back around to the truth: I do matter. You have to see your whole self—all of it. Not the edited
Heather McAdam
Aug 6
Finding Joy in Nature
There is a big fir tree I visit every day. I don’t walk to it—I simply look at it through my sunroof while sitting in my car. Living with cerebellar ataxia has taught me to slow down in ways I never expected. What once felt only like limitation has become an invitation to notice the small things and find joy in quiet, ordinary moments. Nature has become my greatest teacher, proving that joy is still available to us—we only have to pause long enough to receive it.
Heather McAdam
Aug 6
Embracing the Journey: Finding Strength in Every Fall
When you perform, you are out of yourself and more potent, more beautiful." I first encountered Agnes de Mille’s words during my New York acting days. To me, art and life are intertwined. These days, I practice life on the yoga mat—finding presence, strength, and grace, even when I wobble. With ataxia, things don’t always function as they once did. But like Itzhak Perlman playing on three strings, I’m learning I don’t have to stop. I can adapt, re-align, and rise every time I
Heather McAdam
Jul 18
You Don’t Have to Lose Yourself When Life Gets Heavy
I don’t care what you lose in this life—just don’t lose yourself. Grief and hard times can feel incredibly lonely, like being at a party holding a sad little plate of emotional snacks. But through everything, I’ve gained humility, self-compassion, and a deeper awareness of what truly matters. Your vulnerability can be your greatest strength. Breathe when you can, ask for help, and if all else fails? Cry in the shower. It’s free therapy with great water pressure. You’ve got th
Heather McAdam
Jul 6
“A Gentle Look at What I’m Doing to Support My Body”
Living with idiopathic cerebellar ataxia has taught me that I don’t have to wait for perfect answers or perfect days to take care of myself.
I’ve learned to listen to my body and try gentle things that actually help — red light therapy, my vibration board, ubiquinol, NAD, and cycling three days a week. Some days these tools give me more energy. Other days they simply remind me that I’m still showing up for myself, even when progress feels slow.
Staying positive doesn’t mean p
Heather McAdam
Jul 2
I Have Other Plans: Embracing Life with Ataxia
I already have other plans. I do what’s recommended, but I also keep doing what I know works for me. I’ve always been a capable, multi-tasking woman, and ataxia hasn’t changed that. This is how I’m choosing to meet my journey with strength, consistency, and self-trust.
Heather McAdam
Jun 24
Finding My Feet
Advocating for yourself when you have a disability is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to learn.
Especially when your speech is slurred, your energy is gone, and you’re facing it mostly alone.
I prepare lists of questions for every doctor’s appointment. I write scripts for important phone calls. I remind myself to be patient when speaking for others.
Because the truth is — no one is coming to do it for you.
Community is beautiful when you have it, but many of us walk t
Heather McAdam
Jun 14
Once Upon a Time: A Journey Through Child Actor Mental Health
Once there was a little girl who found herself in a very big business.
She was only 8 years old in an industry that devours its own for breakfast. She learned very early how to smile through exhaustion, how to please everyone, and how to perform — both on camera and off.
She played the “good girl.” She played the victim when it got her attention. She tied her worth to applause and approval.
What most people didn’t see was the quiet cost it took on her heart and mind.
Heather McAdam
May 23
Just because the doorbell rings
This morning at the kitchen sink, one thought stopped me cold:
How and why did this happen to me?
For years I put everyone else first — I was the strong one, the capable one, the “good wife” and “good mother.” I practiced self-sacrifice without even realizing it… even while my own body was falling apart.
My ex chose self-preservation.
Why didn’t I?
I should have.
My mom always said, “Just because the doorbell rings doesn’t mean you have to answer it.”
I wish I had listened so
Heather McAdam
May 21
